What are the hidden systems that govern our lives?

Sunday Reset: #8

👋 Welcome to this week’s Sunday Reset – where I provide you with 1 quote, 1 idea, & 1 article to either end your current week or start your upcoming week with something new.

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This week’s reset:

• Idea: Feedback loops and thought spiraling.

• Quote 1: Define yourself by your strengths.

• Quote 2: Reacting to criticism.

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💡 One idea

Feedback loops and thought spirals

What are the hidden systems that are governing your life?

My answer is: Feedback loops and thought spirals.

James Clear, the author of Atomic Habits, describes feedback loops as the following:

“Feedback loops are always running in the background of our lives, but they influence our bodies and minds in profound ways.

When each process works as intended, our bodies function properly and we remain balanced. When something in the system breaks, we steadily slip away from equilibrium.

In extreme cases, things spiral out of control.”

These feedback loops are heavily intertwined with our minds and have a large impact on our thoughts. Once we’re caught in a negative feedback loop, that can push us towards negative thought spiraling due to being out of our preferred path, and vice versa for a positive feedback loop.

My experience & solution plan

I’m traditionally a very positive and optimistic person. There are moments in life when I have been in very strong positive feedback loops. Every action contributes to further positive thought, and the world is my ocean.

More recently, I’ve realized that I’ve been in a negative feedback loop. Small negative feelings have led to second-guessing my thoughts and actions. Further feeling lost without the decisiveness and conviction I typically hold.

I have been in control of some of the pieces contributing to this, but not all. Both personally and professionally there are things that have happened that have pushed me towards this, but it’s my responsibility to react accordingly.

However, this is sometimes easier said than done 😅🥲.

My first step is recognizing my current state. Having acceptance of where I am in this moment and accepting what has happened.

Life is made up of seasons, it’s natural for items in our systems to break and be thrown out of equilibrium for moments of time. The important part is to be adaptable, accept that this happens, and focus on repairing the damage.

My second step is relying on controllable actions that will pull me back to a stronger frame of mind.

These must be actions that I have full control over. For me, this is a combination of waking up early, daily meditation, and getting outside. By focusing on the basics, I will be able to pull past what has been previously holding me back.

My third step is understanding what originally brought me to this negative feedback loop. Which part of my daily system broke?

This is to minimize feedback time to react to future negative feedback loops and (if possible) to identify and remove future negative feedback forces from my environment.

Control

Ultimately, we cannot always control the forces that cause our internal systems to go from positive —> to negative. However, we can always control our reactions to what has happened.

Focus on what we can control.

Focus on the basics that keep your internal state of zen, and in times of conflict, remember to come back to them.

🚨 First quote

Everyone is better at some things than others.

Define yourself by your strengths, not your weaknesses.

Acknowledge your weaknesses and figure out how to work around them, but don’t let them stop you from doing what you want to do.

— Sam Altman (YC, OpenAI)

Key takeaway: Double down on your strengths. You can outsource to cover your weaknesses.

🚨 Second quote

Every piece of criticism is an opportunity for new work. You can’t control what sort of criticism you receive, but you can control how you react to it.

— Austin Kleon writing in Show Your Work!

Key takeaway: Criticism is crucial for growth and learning. React to it with acceptance and a growth mindset.

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Thanks for reading this week’s issue of my Sunday Reset.

If you enjoyed what you read, I’d really appreciate it if you could forward it to a friend, family member, or colleague who you think might like it as well!

Or, if you’d like to share it on one of your social networks, that’s always great too.

Hope to see you again soon 😊,

— Sul

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